Hello,

Me and Long distance boyfriend met when i was 15 yrs of age, he was 17. We’ve met through an online game and i loved everything about him. He’s funny, good perspective of the world, good common sense. His tragic past of family not supporting him made me wanted to care for him take care of him. I guess you can say i wanted to save him and make him happy.
As time went on, he never graduated school and dropped out during senior year. I didn’t care, to a teenager it was me, we, us, vs. the world. I had a lot of insecurities about self-image, and he helped me built my confidence, kept me safe.
Our relationship was parent-child relationship. I wanted to go out and hang with my friends, he would let me go only 1-2 days of the week and my curfew was 9. Even my parents didn’t set it that early. But i guess he wanted to talk to me on the phone before i sleep i guess. When i wanna go to a party i would have to make sure everyone that i hangout with knows i’m taken. Oh, and i have to ask permission before going. And during the party, or hangouts i needed to call him and tell him what i’m doing, what happened so far, who i talked to, and about what. He quited partying, smoking, and being a bad boy for me so i guess i felt like i needed to repay him. However, it was the most frustrating 2-3 years of my life, doing nothing but sit at home. But i put up with it, because i loved him i wanted us to work… i really felt like i loved him he was cool, caring, but i guess i never saw his insecurity side since to me he was so confident.
Well years passed i lost most of my friends since most of them were guys, and he didn’t like that i hang with so many. He was worried they might kidnap me or harm me. He cares, A LOT. And i appreciated it but i always felt like I was missing out on things. 3-4 years later i graduated and have gotten used to the routine and i did it pretty much naturally.
When we fight though, it would be really bad, i would cry every time, i would be so scared to speak because i sometime say the wrong thing at the wrong time and he would just EXPLODE.
Another 2 years passed while i was in college, he eased up on the going out, i can go out a little more with curfew being bumped to 11-12pm!. We still talked on the phone every day and i enjoyed it every moment. It was nice, He’s very good with words and he can say anything and it’ll make 95% sense. So i continued the routine: school, home, talk on phone, webcam, play online games Oh and every year we see each other once, its not much because we don’t have a lot of money but we didn’t mind at all. A lot of people would ask how do you know you can trust him? etc. We just can, we know everything about each other talk to each other about everything and there were no secrets it was wonderful, complete trust. i liked everything about our relationship, except for when he gets mad, he can get pretty nasty, name calling, kicking my self-esteem down. etc. back then i used to argue back but i guess i just don’t wanna fight anymore since i can never win. Oh man there was so much, looking back i kinda felt sorry for myself taking all that mental abuse. Did i deserve all of it? idk..i think some of them i did but…idk. There are so many negative points about him when we fight, but he has change, though the yelling didn’t stop and I am just tired of every single fight that would come up.
6-7 years of dating him i felt tired…numb, i guess people would call it the “stale” part of the relationship. I got a job as a tutor in college, I talked to college people who has jobs, their own place, their own car. Yeah, they’re struggling to pay for their independence but it was admirable to me.(Since it was my job i was able to talk to people freely, without him being suspicious about it.) They’re going somewhere, have a dreams. I talked to him about getting his GED, actually my mom suggested taht i tell him. This was year 5 actually, we had fights about it year 6 finally agreed to it and this year is when he got his GED. But was taking his time on license and we had a fight about college and future stuff. He would talk about getting me a ring when he gets a job, asked me to have a baby with him. It freaked me out, i’m still in college we both have nothing. And him bringing that up just made me jump out of my skin. I guess that’s when i really reconsidered and doubted the relationship. Every time we fight he would break up with me,
Ending of year 6 i felt exhausted, so much school pressure was put on me since I am going to be our main income. I felt like he’s piling up with the pressures with school, family, future goals. I was beginning to feel attractions for other men, independent, strong men who have goals. I guess in my head was looking for an easy way out. I DO NOT believe in cheating, EVER. So nothing happen. I told him how i felt, and he told me to come see him as soon as school semester ended. I didn’t feel happy when he picked me up at the airport, but I spent a month with him, tried to make it work and still i feel like i needed to leave him behind. But I stayed.
I went to California with my family this summer and it was fun, being able to travel somewhere different other than to see him. I had a blast! We were introduced to family friends and we all connected really well so the trip was so fun. I came home and I knew that’s what I wanted to do, travel. And I don’t want anything holding me back. So I ended it. It’s been almost a month since and I kind of miss him. I feel like I should have given him another chance, but he made such a big deal out of it when he begs me to come back and promise he will change and threatening to suicide and all that. And now I’m just I don’t know I felt like I lost a really good boyfriend who really, truly cares about me. But also I’m happy that I’m single…
Tell me what you think pleaseee !!!!!!There’s a lot more details because well it’s 6-7 years. But those are some of the main things I felt is most important.

P.S. I’m currently 21 now and he’s 24.