Hi Nick

I read your thread and wanted to chime in because I feel your breakup has some relevance to mine. I got dumped about 3 months ago because I became suspicious of my ex and found some things on his social media I was not happy with. He acknowledged hurting me and took accountability for it, but also said I manifested this because I was always looking for evidence to prove what I allegedly already thought of him – that he was an untrustworthy guy. He had a point. In my previous relationships, I have been cheated on and lied to and have had a few very painful social media related issues with men. I told my ex before I ever saw anything negative from him that I had a really sensitive wound with that subject and asked him to please not ever do what my exes did to me. I’m still struggling with understanding if he even did anything wrong or not… but regardless, my jealousy and trust issues were there either way.

The behavior you experienced was toxic and I acknowledge it in myself too. I think your ex didn’t even give you a chance from the get go, though. She seems to have brick walls up around her and she’s gonna continue to not trust men until or unless something massively changes her fear. I have this horrible fear too and I feel for her because I don’t think anyone can help this in us. I still feel at fault for overreacting. Losing my ex absolutely wasn’t worth it for me in retrospect. I can’t speak for your ex but trust issues from our past are no joke and we bleed them out onto everyone. I’m sure a little part of her is frustrated with herself. I wish I had some advice but I hope that maybe seeing it from someone with a similar relationship trigger helps a little.