Dear Anita,

“This is an unexpected development, isn’t it, that the blood work came back inconclusive for cancer. It makes sense to have an MRI as soon as possible (today, tomorrow?) and if the result is a definite no-cancer, then remove the benign tumor alone. If there is cancer, then remove the whole ovary.”

Yes it was unexpected. This morning I decided to postpone the surgery so that I can get the imaging done first, because I want to preserve as much of the ovary as possible. I am a bit in thought/introspective and a little disapointed about how I was looking forward to getting it finally out and now I have to wait longer, also medical bills of an mri, but I think it was the best decision. I am proud of myself for choosing the patient option rather than just wanted to get it over with, an easier in the moment choice.

“* I wonder if a 2nd blood work is a good idea?”

So I said “inconclusive” because it was in a way, but not that doing it again would change anything. There is some sort of point system, that is confusing, but apparently there is only risk if your blood scores over a 5 and mine was 5.1. So my surgeon said she is 99% sure it is benign, but because it scored over 5, they have a certain procedure to follow.

“I just read about symptoms of estrogen deficiency in women. We don’t want hatchling to be moody, irritable or depressed, having hot flashes and night sweats.”

Exactly, I made the right decision for me 🙂 I read alot of studies one women having one ovary compared to two, and apparently there are only slight differences, such as one year earlier to menopause, which doesn’t concern me much. What concerns me is there not being enough research as far as all the functions estrogen has, not only in the reproductive system, but in cognitive function. Women with less estrogen are slightly more likely to have cognitive deficiencies with age, such as dementia. I have to accept that even if it is benign and she can try to preserve some of the ovary, the tumor is 15cm, which is considered very large and I will likely lose alot of it anyways, but hopefully not all! I will keep you updated as I find things out 🙂

“in the last sentence of your original post of this thread, Oct 6: “the inner voice of my higher self telling me it’s not right“, your higher self being your crown chakra, and your inner voice being its wisdom vibrating through you.”

Thank you for reminding me of my last sentence of my original post! It still resonates with me, and I do feel it is very true.

“It led me to a quote that resonated with me and said ‘I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.’“- it’s like I said those words, substituting type for write. ”

-Exactly me too haha, typing is better for me cause I can do it faster and more of it, writing tires my wrists faster haha.

“(2) The thought that he blocked your message, if he did, annoys me,”

It annoys me too, and it also reminds me of his immaturity as well as is teflon… by blocking my number he is literally trying to spray his heart with teflon.. I wonder the affects of this for him.

“(5)  Your boredom, desire for drama and excitement, is about having a non-vibrating/ blocked sacral chakra. One way to get it to vibrate is to get engaged in a creative activity (acting in a play would’ve been great).”

It is interesting you bring this up, because just yesterday I was feeling like my sacral chakra needed an outlet, so I went and did a workout. I thought perhaps I could use this energy to get me to the gym? Because I think a main way my sacral energy can be expressed is when I feel good about myself, when I feel healthy and in my body, which working out does do for me. It is interesting that you bring up creative activity as vibrating the sacral needs, because recently I have not felt very artistically motivated or inspired, but this is also because of that lack of energy I brought up in my last post.

“Sex in a new relationship, a relationship approved by a board meeting of all chakras, headed by the crown chakra, is what I recommend for you!”

“A board meeting of all chakras” made me laugh haha, but it is true! headed by the crown chakra! I don’t feel all my chakras are united right now, which would make picking a sexual partner difficult. For example from my post last night it seems clear that my sacral and heart have different desires than my crown. I know little about the other chakras. My heart is not ready to be with another person though, I feel like I would have flashes of N at this point and it would have the potential to satisfy the sacral and crown while harming the heart. I need an activity that my crown agrees will simultaneously satisfy my heart and sacral chakra. Working out though, I don’t think my heart cares for that, I think that activity satisfies crown, sacral and probably root chakra in that it makes me feel grounded in my body.

Seaturtle