Dear Tessa

What a weight you have on your shoulders and to be honest it appears it is only going to get heavier in some ways, especially your mothers condition.

I guess you need firstly is to sit down and think how you can support your father without endangering your own health both mentally, physically & financially. ie you could decide to say every other Sunday you purchase food & cook for the family and do other household chores. Doing this with a good heart is the best gift you can give your family.

I agree with manbuddha’s comments a frank conversation with your dad will probably be good for both of you as he will feel less isolated and heard and he may have a couple of suggestions on what he would like help with.  I look after my 92yr old father by myself 24/7 who has dementia and the thing I would love help with is somebody doing the dishes.

kind regards

Roberta