Dear Mam,

one of my russian friend in london broke up with my another friend (Indian) in Dec and immediately started daring someone else, rebound relationship! she got engaged to the new guy who is also in march and wedding in June and now in honeymoon in cyprus. this female friend and my previous friend were in a brilliant relationship and real but things got difficult over long distance and she broke up with him! they were real and amazing… noone knew about their relationship until engagement in march well I knew through my male friend… she invited very few people to their sudden wedding in june… she did not invite me though at one time we were close… now none of us told her that this is a rebound… and since they are married now we dont want to tell her… what should I do? the previous guy was way more robust, attractive, kinder, gentleman, friendlier and helpful! no offence i know the guy he is nice & helpful but he is immature and he is kinda lame with girls more like a typical IT guy! the previous one was really someone good and attractive and i saw huge positive changes in both of them, this guy and this relationship has done no growth for them! they are very over mushy and weird… smiling and holding hands too much, too many fb pics, same coloured jackets as if romeo & juliet reincarnated and born as them! whether would u propose someone within 2.5 months of dating? where they started dating the day after she broke up? when they dated for 2 years says that the guy is weak and desperate what do u think? and what would you do? what is the justification, smartness & bravery in a rebound relationship?

she kept the break up and the new relation so secret i came to know from my indian friend only everyone came to know when shewas engaged in march after break up in mid december and suddenly so many pictures from then till now too many pictures single girls on her profile can feel complex she is a very nice caring girl loving girl but immature and inexperienced (i met her few times and it clearly appeared so)

My Indian friend The Indian guy is an amazing guy and he is a very close friend of mine. He is 26. She is 26. She was a friend but she rarely talks with me. She got engaged widin 2 months of dating, she started dating the very next day of breaking up with her ex. She always telling her ex, mom n others she has to move on. In an obsession n misconception she started dating! And such was her vulnerable state, she wud hv dated anyone, it was this guy her friend from 3 months previously who asked her out, he is russian, single and they used to meet quite regularly at salsa! The guy is 31, however he is weird, he is a nice intelligent techie, but lame with girls. Petr think he is funny, cool and stylish. He is not at all also he is ugly. He is blindly following british culture n society, says he does not miss russia at all n loves uk! Am not surprised as he must have had a tough time having any gf in russia!Am angry on her for rebounding with him. Whoever fault it was, break up happens, face it n move on. She has a decent job in london, comes from a rich family like mine. Her parents wud do anything for her as she is a single child! She is with someone clearly below her league. She is so sad, hurt, frustrated that any validation from a single guy wud make her happy. When i asked her in jan n april what he was doing, she replied she is very busy with her work n bf ie she devotes all her time to her bf as if he saved her from burning train n nursed her back to health and as if she has no existence without him! Why does she crave love so much? She cud have waited and dated better men. It is easy to meet nice attractive single guy with high salary in uk. I have rarely men with these qualities n over 30! Such men over 30 are married or in a relationship in uk. However he was single! This new guy puts up so many pictures on fb and esp now with her. This overmushyness is very weird n funny! He gets 2/3 likes at max.He is under the illusion that he is awesome hence such a girl got into a serious relationship with him so quickly and said yes to his proposal so easily. He proposed to her with an ordinary flower bouquet at his house on a saturday morning! It is difficult to say yes to that kind of proposal. No wonder he had problem in having gf in a city like london! She thinks she is happy! They tell each other i luv u so many times unnecessarily! She keeps saying i have moved on and am happy where i am kind of brainwashing us and herself! he does look like a happy overexcited kid with her. He is 31 but often he behaves like 21-23!!! I met them accidentally at starbucks it was so mushy as if they met after a decade of separation and true love! I nicely greeted them and left the place. I dislike and disapprove this relationship, 2 of my friends hate it and stopped talking to her! I am unsure of meddling i prefer avoiding them! Anyway they seem to be oblivious of their surrounding and always busy showing off esp the guy, the girl is still shy! Best revenge for her would have been to be happy and single post break up!!!!

The Indian guy treated The Russian girl damn well, they were so good and
amazing together, learning, growing up, maturing, fighting together!
both are 27! this new guy is 31 but he acts like 26 and sometimes even
younger! what is the stupid obsession with so many pictures on FB? he
used to upload pictures on fb even before he met her and after they
have been engaged there have been too much pictures on his a/c! this
is lame & boyish! he is fun but not really funny. he is not open to
positive criticism, now that a girl like her has been in a serious
relationship so easily with her! he is over confident thinks he is so
funny, wise & amazing! he has become overconfident instead of
maturing! she has been kiddish off late chasing happiness! the new guy
was better before this relationship, he has become weird & over
confident now, his jokes or ideas have not improved either! he is more
of a lame IT guy!

but she does treat him well as he is a nice guy and she is above her
league, younger and much better compared to him! Hopefully they will
be happy together and he grows up and becomes mature and not over
confident, over bearing, over controlling and cocky and selfish like
many russian guys become which result to pain and suffering and
divorce for the females in russia!

with the Indian guy she used to be mature happy more than childish happy, with
the new guy it is more of childish happiness! she says this sentence
too often – I am so happy now, he makes me happy! as if she needs to
prove to the world and to herself that she is happy, they are very
happy together and their relationship is going great! through FB he
shows his happiness to the world, though he gets very few likes as he
is not like the Indian guy, certainly not a tom cruise or brad pitt!

I feel bad for The Russian girl, it appears she was desperate for love and
searching for one, and whoever gave her affection & admiration when
she was lonely, vulnerable, sad, stressed & needy! we ourselves should
save us and not other right? someone else should complement us and not
complete us! The Russian girl could have done much better for herself, could have
got a much better guy with visa in UK! it is so easy to date in UK and
come across good guys with proper jobs in UK! she had a decent job,
from a rich family from russia though she had very very few friends in
london to help her! why do so many young girls assume and become self
convinced that moving on means dating or saying yes to the new guy,
giving chances as if relationships are like training or jobs, something is not working try out a new one, instead of just facing the reality!

I have seen rebounds from close, they are over mushy, weird & bad mostly suffer! this is the 1st time I am seeing a rebound marriage, may be this is common in USA or hollywood or fashion industry where people are too busy with work, money & glamour to identify the real world!

after my amazing & real relationship broke off, I myself was in a rebound, my friends rescued me. I realized what huge mistake i was doing. i clearly remember how intense & fun the rebound was, it was for 3 months! but i was not being practical, real & mature! i am thankful to God & my friends for saving me from that rebound relationship! i was in rebound with an old female friend she herself was struggling big time with her long time bf! my problems were bad job, bad boss & break up! i was so so stupid n impractical to enter into that rebound. am glad it broke off without long term disaster. but my real relationships as well as this rebound taught me so much about relationships and females!

I have respect for all girls everywhere. Just because a girl is nice & cute, that does not mean I have to date her. Neither she nor me are doing anyone a favour by asking out! This is not charity! One night stands or FWB are different! A job is a necessity a girl is not. Marriage is something very very serious and for lifetime, I do not want to have the feeling that I am stuck in a serious relationship like it is a very tough or crappy job that I have to leave! Still things like this happen in good relationships and people break up! This is normal! However such things are abnormal in a marriage! Girls are human beings and not furniture or car or even job or training, that once bored or we have our experience we throw them out, unless it is casual and she knows it from the beginning! There are girls who know, understand and support one night stands or FWB!

Marriage is not a destination rather a journey, a commitment with another person to share life, to be there together for each other on good, bad and the ugly days fighting like a team, growing together and helping out each other and agreeing to disagreeging but sticking together!

So to be in a serious relationship/engaged to/marriage to that kind of girl, we must have a good compatibility and chemistry and we must belong to the same league and must be worthy of each other! It is most important that we both (more than our family & friends & relatives) think & feel we can be right for each other! However, my choice of girls are usually suitable for my family as well! I am not so strict on girls for long term & serious relationship like old Bengali people! But 40 years from now, I and my partner would be alive and also we have to spend maximum time together, others wont be with us. Hence it is most important that our individual opinions matter the most, secondary are family & friends and relatives come last. I strongly despise and disapprove rebound relationships! Sorry nothing can support it! It is bad, unfair & unhealthy in the long term!

PLEASE SAY WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE