Dear Seaturtle:

“A major realization for me to end things was asking myself ‘if the world ended and you had to spend the rest of your days in a room with this person, would you choose them to be your one person there?’ And my answer was no“- respect this major realization, keep it- consistently- in your awareness.

“I’m so curious about your partner and the type of relationship you have“- I didn’t share this in your thread.. how do you know I have a partner?

“I worry that he feels like ‘people always leave’ and that I contributed to that fear“- he left himself, didn’t he?

“one day I wanna hear more about what it was like to do what you are doing“- can you be more specific/ clear about what it is that you want to hear more of?

“I just don’t expect people to see me. I’ve accepted there are places in my head I will always be alone, but I’ve also learned that some people see you better than others“- too many people are too troubled to be able or willing to SEE another person. The world is a troubled world.

“so you can still see your childhood affecting who you are now?” – of course. I was formed during my formative years, aka my childhood.

“It’s amazing how many people there are in the world with their own bias of everything. I wonder what the world reads like, or what people really look like from zero bias“- people would look like infants, the age of zero bias.

“I have been called out and feel it was untrue many times in my life, hence being unseen most of it. However with you many things you notice about me feel true and are helping me understand myself faster“- I am not the same person I was before communicating with you. I see more of me because of you.

“I still can understand how you concluded what you did, which challenges me to really ask myself if it’s true for myself“- I wrote the above before I read this sentence..!

“if I 100% believe my person is out there for this lifetime then I wonder what they’re doing right now and when I will hear about it“- believe that your person is out there, but your person will not always SEE you, not a 100%. Not a (perfect) soul mate..

“You know what, I know you said you don’t watch a lot of tv, and I still wonder how. But have you ever watched like standup comedy on Netflix? Those got me through quarantine times“- actually, I watched a lot of standup comedy during quarantine, (YouTube videos, not TV)!

Good night, Seaturtel, 6:02 pm here, 7:02 pm where you’re at.

anita