Hi Seaturtle

I think posts get reviewed when they are long?

I feel like you are a very kind, thoughtful and wise person Seaturtle. It’s wonderful to hear your insights.

It’s great to hear that you practice meditation! The headspace app is great. I enjoyed their Netflix stuff too.

There is a Buddhist meditation I read about that you may find interesting to try. You may have come across something similar before. It’s good for when you notice that your false self arises, say when you are feeling triggered or ruminating. When these things happen, you can notice feelings of stress arising in your body. For me, my breathing might change, heart rate might increase, parts of the body might tense up. The idea is to notice these feelings in your body one by one and sit with the feeling, give it an opportunity to relax and open up.

I feel like any meditation that helps you to feel love and calm is a good way to see things as they are.

Buddhism has a lot of information about seeing things as they are. The idea is that everyone has their own unique perspective. Different people are hurt by different things for example. Then there is the circumstance as it is without emotion. Like if a tree fell in a forest with no one around. The truth is all of these things make a whole. So practicing seeing the whole is a good idea.

I would say that the easiest way to tell if you are falling into patterns of your false self would be to reflect on your emotional state. Are you feeling calm? If so, probably not. If you are feeling stressed, then it’s possible. Do your thoughts remind you of anyone you know? Have you heard something similar before? Remember the absorbing patterns from other people and experiences.

A lot of things that my mothers said to me when I was a child pop up when I’m feeling stressed. But my mind presents it to me initially as if I’m saying it. When I remember that they used to say something similar it helps me to realize that it isn’t me, but a memory.

I think that stress bringing out these false patterns can make us act against our nature.

For example, I value kindness and understanding. But when I’m feeling triggered my thoughts become distrusting, feeling like people are intentionally hurting me and become defensive. You see my pattern of the false self?

I’m not sure if you’ve tried this with your negative friend, but I find this to be helpful when interacting with negative people. I start by asking how they are letting them express their feelings and talking about themselves for a few minutes. Then after that I don’t respond to their negativity and change the subject every time they talk about things like that.

I love rereading these books that always have new insights to be found.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏❤️