Hi Alex

I’m glad that you found the responses here helpful.

Either option, ending the relationship or couples counselling sound like a good idea. Sometimes couples counselling is even used to end a relationship on good terms.

I think that your girlfriend is used to people not accepting her and only using her for sex. A lot of men are uncomfortable being in a relationship with people who worked in the porn industry, it might seem sexy at first but people start seeing it as a blow to their ego. It is honestly fair for you to have difficulties with this. Whilst it is uncomfortable for you to hear about, it would also be uncomfortable for her to hide and never speak about it. It’s okay if this relationship isn’t for you.

That your girlfriend doesn’t acknowledge her trauma and takes personal responsibility for it doesn’t make it any less of a trauma. Sexual development is normal for children but it is up to the people around them to keep them safe, have good boundaries and not abuse them. It’s good to hear that she’s not hurt by her past. But this trauma has led to her having difficulties with relationships for her whole life.

I don’t think she’s a monster. She is just used to being treat like she is disposable. Should she name call, no. But she isn’t alone in that behaviour. Should she make you sleep on the couch? No. I would never ask my husband to sleep on the couch.

Wishing you all the best! ❤️🙏