Hi Seaturtle

I think it is apt because sea turtles are peaceful, gentle souls, they live to a long age which represents wisdom. They are adventurous and free spirited. You share all of these qualities. 😊

Congratulations on being close to finding a therapist! That is a big step.

It sounds like a good book. That’s a really great mantra! I’m glad that it is helping you manage your thoughts. Well done! 👏

You are right, it is definitely being the first one in the family to try and change things and find a better way. People can be so resistant to change. That would be a wonderful support group.

My husband likes to say. A broken watch is right twice a day, but you don’t tell time by it. Fragments of truth can be found when someone is unhealthy. But it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.

I think the secret is that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we have to define ourselves by it or that it makes us any less special. All we can do is our best to learn and grow out of our mistakes and offer ourselves forgiveness.

I’m glad you like my rambling!

You might not feel it and see it as much yet. But since you first message you’ve grown a lot. You’re still the same awesome person, but you are trusting your intuition more and finding your voice. It’s lovely to see. Long may it continue!

Ah well Buddhism has a great deal to say about attachment. I would recommend looking into that side of it as well. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun.

I remember a story about a monk that raised a baby goat and they had to give it up. An exercise in attachment.

It is honestly very hard to maintain a warm demeanour in difficult situations especially with people that aren’t necessarily trusted. Very hard indeed. I actually have similar difficulties. For me, it’s the feeling of vulnerability that I don’t like. I feel very soft and squishy during disagreements, easily hurt. I used to think that the only way to protect myself was to emotionally distance myself from the situation.

With people I trust, I am trying to be less distant when there are disagreements. Practicing validating their emotions and acknowledging positive things when giving feedback.

I read something that basically said that if you approach a relationship with negativity it will not heal. Whereas if you approach a relationship with positivity, the person will be inspired by your character and respond in kind. Not entirely true. But that is what ancient Chinese philosophy is like. 😂

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏