Hi Stephanie,

This is unconditional love that you talk about. I agree to it and this maybe the best way for her to achieve anything she wishes or aims for.

However, I have certain expectations of her which I had clearly communicated before marriage as well.

I earn 5X of her. I bought the house on my own. I am healthy and have had a good exposure and am in the top quartile of intelligent men. My problems are I have limited friends and little social life, I have been complaining about her to her and trying to improve her (which seems to work at a snails pace, but does work in a few areas). But her intellect is something that cannot change fundamentally.

One could argue I should have spotted this beforehand. But my frustrations stem from the fact that I feel I am sacrificing everything for her – intelligent conversations, not having children due to her weight, lack of physical attraction and taking full responsibility of financial freedom.

She is a good homemaker – cooks for us and takes care of the house. She also works and does it sincerely. However she comes from a poor background with lack of any real support.

I have accepted the fact that things won’t be equal in our relationship. I will need to take ownership of wealth creation, decision making, finances and travel . She takes ownership of food and household stuff and her career. It seems like a traditional man woman thing and I have seen so many confident, fit and smart women who delegate household stuff and are far more energetic, fit and lively. Having kids wouldn’t be a problem for any normal couple.

I understand comparison will only make me sad, so I leave that. But isn’t it fair to expect good health and a child from her ?

Or as you say, giving everything and then accepting whatever comes through is the best that’s written in my destiny.