Hey, thanks for your reply. We stayed together again the past weekend and everything just worked again. I didn’t really doubt anything and what I did think about what I’d done a few times but I’d get it out my head and forget about it. I feel a lot better about it all now.

Yesterday she even met my dad. I wouldn’t agree that the long distance was the issue. I think it was more my connection with her and only spending a week together in person prevented my devotion. When I’m with her I’m happy and we don’t argue. I know I messed up and it hurt her pretty bad, but we’ve been okay.

If I’m totally honest I don’t know if it is going to work. It’s hard at times and I struggle to keep the guilt of what I’ve done out of my head, but I’m speaking with a therapist who’s helping me with it all. I know that this could be a great thing that I have with this girl, and I don’t want to lose that. I’m going to continue playing it how it has been before. I haven’t once gone looking for anything else and I was very content.

 
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I was working 7 days a week and the only people I’d really talk to were the ones I worked with, and the girl I slept with was the one who showed me more interest than others. I will learn from what I’ve done and won’t do what I done before again. I see that what we have is strong and I’m going to continue working on it.

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I won’t bring up what happened before again as far as I can help it. She doesn’t understand and likely never will understand why I did what I did, to be honest neither will I. She’s still excited for me to come to Australia and so am I. We’ll see how it goes but all I can do for now is prove to her that it was a mistake.

The main issue for me is when I look at her when she’s doing something cute or nice, and instantly feel regret for what I did. I consistently think that had I not done it, we could’ve had that nice moment without the painful thought of remembering something bad. This is a consequence of what I did though, and I’m willing to live with that.

We’ll see how we get on, but for now I’m happy and so is she.