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Reply To: I try setting boundaries and fail a lot

HomeForumsRelationshipsI try setting boundaries and fail a lotReply To: I try setting boundaries and fail a lot

#436234
Helcat
Participant

Hi Butterfly

Another thought I had is that when living with someone new there is an adjustment period. When I started living with my partner everything annoyed me because he does things in his own way and I had to get used to sharing my space. After 6 months I started to enjoy living with him. Hopefully, things will get easier?

If you are still having these problems with noise cancelling headphones they are probably not good enough quality. My husband has really expensive ones, $800 and I can honestly say that he hears nothing with them on. I’ve had to tap him on the shoulder before. 😂 The $300 ones are not as good for the noise cancelling. It really is a case of you get what you pay for.

It is up to you whether you would like to build a room. To me that seems like an extreme solution. You would have to deal with people in the office. So making an effort to co-exist whilst also setting boundaries would make more sense to me but I am not you and it is your life.

Sure relationships are hard work. There is good and bad. But fighting so much at the beginning of a relationship is a concern. This is usually the honeymoon phase. Then again it sounds like a lot of pressure has been placed on you both in a very short amount of time. Living with someone you don’t know very well, who is completely different to you. Buying a house, changing jobs. It’s not a surprise that you’re feeling overwhelmed right now.

Perhaps the reason that you both fought during your holiday is because changing jobs is stressful? Especially after buying a new house. Increases in stress breed arguments. It can be helpful to be aware of high levels and try to manage stress as best as you can.

It sounds like your partner really likes you and enjoys spending time with you. While you are pushing him away.

It is hard living with someone messier than you who is so different. And frustrating. But you can choose how you want to respond to that. You can either be mad about the situation or choose to accept it. The alternative is breaking up.

Perhaps give yourselves some time to actually settle down and relax?

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏