Hello there everyone.
I am 21 years old and have just recently got out of a relationship. I’ve been dating a girl who was a really close friend of mine. I never thought we would date, but I always had a thing for her. We clicked so well as friends. From our interests in Horror movies and rap songs, to our bizarre and crude sense of humor. It wasn’t until I finally saw my close friend kiss another guy. I got extremely jealous and realized I had feelings for her. After letting go of her fling, I finally grew a pair and told her how I felt. We started continuing on as friends, but slowly fell into a relationship. We realized how much differences we actually had. I had a terrible anger problem and a really negative mind. She, on the other hand was very optimistic and thinks before she speaks. Getting deeper into the relationship, I had some jealousy issues and always accused of her of doing things with other guys. My anger became worst and I became verbally abusive towards her. Despite all the fights, we were very happy. Well, that’s what I thought. As two years past, she got a job at a lounge as a server. My anger got worst, but we fought less. The only thing was, everytime we DID fight, she would get more emotional and depressed. Eventually I realized it was an insecurity problem of mine and I couldn’t trust her. That lead to her leaving me a couple weeks ago. She had told me that I pushed her to the point of no return. Up to this point, Idk if I should move on or not. I am still in love with her and finally realized my wrongs, but it’s too late. All that runs through my mind is that she just craves for freedom, but she tells me that she was truly in love with me, but because of my ways, she got fed up and had to let go. What do I do now? It’s been hard on me because she was such a GREAT gf. She was perfect in my eyes. Now she’s gone. Weird thing is, she doesn’t want to cut connections and still want to remain friends, yet go date other people if a good opportunity comes. She doesn’t mind me dating either. All I want is to get back with her, but I know she doesn’t want that. I just don’t know what to think. Especially since she wants her own life now, but still wants to talk to me and go out to eat with me. I believe that EXes can’t be friends and I’m still too in love with her. What do I do?