Hi Helcat,

That’s a good point! I think you are right about the impact of the relationship on my emotional state certainly feels much more weighty than it should for the length of the relationship. However I think the is the main point – how do I break this pattern?

In my behaviors I don’t believe I overly invested. We saw each other about once a week and talked maybe around once a day which felt like a reasonable pace. Sure I had sex with him but I don’t feel like it was a game changer in how I felt about him. Only after I sensed him distancing did I start thinking about the relationship a lot and craving more closeness. This is consistent with my pattern. The idea of “feeling” less invested in these kind of people is exactly the “problem” I’m trying to solve.