Anita,
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I think you are right because when I read your words I feel really emotional in a way of feeling understood. I wish I could remember more from my childhood to validate this but I guess hard evidence isn’t really necessary to know what is true.</p>
To answer your question, yes I do think that accurately describes the pattern! I am always thinking about how I can make the men I date comfortable and happy enough to eventually support my needs. This is also I think why I used to stay in relationships too long, waiting.  Now I’ve gotten better at recognizing what doesn’t serve me and moving past these relationships. In fact the one guy I felt this pattern with a few years ago, I ended things amicably after about 3 months and he is now one of my absolute dearest friends. Once the expectation of a romantic relationship is gone, I can appreciate people for the things they offer outside of emotional support. It’s scary to imagine never having a healthy romantic relationship but is also something I can probably find peace with, worst case 🙂

Last question – when you recognized the source of your pattern, what work did you do to make peace with it?

THANK YOU <3