Dear Mary:
“But now I cant get images out of my head and wondering if I’ll ever leave the past in the past. I am an overthinker… cant stop imagining that he was with someone else“- I can relate to you, I went through the same kind of suffering that you are describing here, and I too was an overthinker. In fact, I suffered from OCD (eventually diagnosed) from an early age.
“This man has always been loyal and honest… He was my first and I met him when I was 18 so with this man has been my first for everything. “- from my experience this obsessive kind of suffering is not about whether the boyfriend is honest and loyal, or not. Instead, it’s about an early hurt in childhood (before you ever met him) that got triggered and goes on and one through images and imaginings. In my case, it was my loneliness as a child, being mistreated by my mother. That was an early and ongoing betrayal, very intense. For as long as it was unresolved, it got triggered and re-triggered.
Do you relate..?
anita