Dear Helcat:

I decided to reply earlier than intended.

“Thank you for your thoughts!“- You are welcome, Helcat.

“I like the idea, but we don’t tend to argue about finances or parenting much. It is more about communicating things that have hurt. If that makes sense? For example… I wanted to have a  special moment with my partner and hugged him and told him I loved him. He was not paying attention and talked to our son and dog. I gave up trying and felt hurt. He noticed me feeling hurt and wanted to talk about it. I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to argue. He got upset at that. It is more emotional stuff, you see?“- yes, I see, I see a bit. I see that you feel that you and your husband drifted apart, and you feel alone and lonely. You need the kind of attention and affection that makes you feel safe. Safety is a huge need for those who have been terribly unsafe for too long. People like you and I.

“Things have been a bit better since the counselling session. My husband has been making more of an effort with affection“- I hope that his individual counselling sessions, and the couple counselling sessions the two of you attend together help him and you. You have never shared anything negative about him, not that I remember. I think of you as a loving, faithful wife, a loyal wife, a trustworthy person.  I think well of you.

anita