Hi Anita

I agree, that is a good idea. Thank you for helping me to understand our dynamic better!

He was able to discuss some of his feelings, some things don’t become an argument. I think the arguments happen when we disagree and also, if either of us have bottled up our feelings. If there is stress, or fatigue that tends to add to it as well. We don’t always disagree, so if there isn’t a disagreement it doesn’t turn into an argument. Recently, we are arguing about arguing. We are both stubborn, so that is a factor too. Poor communication, often turns things into an argument.

I think that we try not to bother each other and try to live with difficulties until it hurts. Trying to tough it out and see if things improve. When things go on for a long time and there is no improvement, that is when it becomes an argument. It is true, we should tell each other what we need before it gets to that point. I think because things have been so difficult, we try not to inconvenience each other and in doing so, inconvenience each other. But yes, it ceases to be a conversation about communicating a simple need and instead is a conversation about being hurt that a need isn’t being met.

Not taking breaks when we are hurt is what escalates things.

I agree, arguing has become very harmful.

I have always liked animals better than people. It’s true. Our son is easy because he is in that group of non-verbal, no stress.

I’m glad to hear that you found a different dentist! I hope that your experience is better next time around.

It is hard for me to start from the beginning at the moment. My PTSD is quite bad right now. My mind is a bit out of control. Sometimes . I have difficulty managing my thoughts, feelings and reactions.

A positive step is that my husband has started letting me take breaks when I need them. I think that I am not taking breaks soon enough yet because I still worry about his feelings and try to hang in there and communicate with him to make him feel better.

When I am in control of myself. I use the communication techniques recommended by our couples counsellor and things go better. My husband doesn’t try and use them without my guidance yet. This is something that I think needs to change.

Love and best wishes, always! ❤️🙏