Dear Tom:

I’m glad to hear that you’re still persevering with things at work, that you have some holidays booked to look forward to, and that you’re continuing to read, exercise, and practice gratitude. It’s also great that you’re still posting here—reflecting and sharing your thoughts can be such a valuable part of processing everything.

I hope that your trip to the U.S. turns out better than expected and brings something positive your way.

You wrote: “My confidence has drained a lot in my current role, and it’s made me question what I am good at and what I enjoy—that is what I need to work on and discover again… I would be happier if I was working in a coffee shop.”-

Since it’s been almost a year since you started this thread (May 26, 2024), I’d love to get a better understanding of how things are for you now. I’m asking these questions based on the quote above to better grasp where you are today, but only if you think it would be helpful to explore. No pressure—just an open space if you feel like sharing. If you do, I’ll respond after hearing your thoughts.

In regard to work & confidence- What specifically in your current role has drained your confidence?

Do you feel like the job itself is the issue, or is it the environment, expectations, or something else?

When did you start questioning what you’re good at—was there a particular moment or pattern that triggered it?

Are there aspects of your current job that you still enjoy, or has your enthusiasm faded completely?

What used to make work feel fulfilling, and do you think that could be reignited in some way?

In regard to the coffee shop idea & career reflections-

What about working in a coffee shop feels appealing—less stress, simpler tasks, more social interaction?

Do you see working in a coffee shop as something you truly want, or is it more of a contrast to the stress of your current role?

If you imagine yourself in a coffee shop long-term, do you think it would give you the sense of fulfillment you’re looking for?

What would help you rediscover what you enjoy and what you’re good at?

What do you think about small ways to experiment with different work styles or environments before making a bigger shift?

Turning 40 can stir up a lot of reflection, especially around career and personal fulfillment. But this milestone doesn’t mean limitations—it can be a fresh start, a moment to take stock and make meaningful choices. Many people shift careers, rediscover their passions, and even find more stability and satisfaction during this stage of life. You’re asking great questions, and that curiosity will lead you toward something better.

Whatever you choose next, it doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to feel more like you.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts if you decide to share.

anita