I am online friends with a woman who for some reason is bugging me deeply. I suppose it’s b.c. I really wanted a friendship with her she can’t provide me. She’s married to a man who triggers me.

She tends to stop mid-text and be like, “I need to talk to “G”” who is her mother-in-law, and then she never returns. She has done this over and over and it feels disrespectful to me. I am the kind of person who will write, “well, I’ve got to do such and such, I’ll write later”. Or tell her if I’m not sure if I can write.

She just disappears. I am 23 years older than her, a Gen Xer, and I suppose our styles are different. I still feel she’s rude. She apologises, then just does it again and again.

Her husband is in my generation and he is frankly very domineering/controlling and often buts into our convos to share his wisdom. He has no filter and goes on and on. I said nothing last time and he actually said, “IS she there ? Say something”. She seems to view him as a “prophet” and often refers to the wisdom he allegedly gets to God. She will even ask me if I want his input if I’m sharing something. I honestly feel like she’s in a cult with this guy, who is a day trader, obsessed with money, obsessed with his own views, and seems completely uninterested in anyone else’s – unless they agree with his.

I have thought often of telling her how I feel but I know she’ll just disappear – she’s highly defensive about him . Last night he butted in and I got so triggered I just left the convo. I could not take another one of his lectures. I didn’t even feel bad about it – I’m not his wife, I’m not his cult member, and his behaviour to me is bizarre.

Should I tell her how I feel, or just continue to grin and bear it?