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Feel Like I'm MIssing Out

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  • #47515
    sakura77
    Participant

    I don’t know if this is really a “problem” or I’m just looking for some general feedback. I’m 36 years old and not yet married and don’t have any kids. The modern, independent side of me says that this is no big deal and that I’m enjoying my freedom and singlehood and that when the time is right, I’ll meet someone. But another part of me is worried and concerned that I won’t ever get married, won’t ever meet someone, and that I’ll be single well into my 40’s. It doesn’t help things any that a lot of people I know are already married and with kids at this age. I can’t help but feel that I’m missing the boat a little or behind on some timetable…Also, although I don’t quite feel ready to have kids right at this moment, I worry that someday I will want to have them for sure and it’ll be too late or something like that. What bothers me more than anything is the thought that it seems so much easier for some people to meet the person they want to settle down with and start a family with, while I have yet to meet that person and feel like I haven’t really come close thus far. Any thoughts? Overall feedback?

    #47517
    Mel
    Participant

    Hi sakura77. I’m in precisely the same situation, same age, never married and no kids. What has made it harder from a selfish point of view for me this year is that my best friend, who used to be in the same boat has met someone and is now totally loved up. I am happy for her, but it does sting sometimes too!

    What helps me is to remember that our lives aren’t on a timetable, it’s society that dictates this sort of pressure. Things happen at different times for different people. It’s good that you said you enjoy your freedom and singlehood, as sometimes during lonely times one can forget that there are certain positive things about being single, it’s not all negative, just as it’s not a bed of roses being in a relationship. Personally I try to keep faith that things happen when they do for a reason and that there is someone out there for me, but I know how hard it is when it seems as though everyone is paired off believe me, but it isn’t true. I’m also doing online dating, which can play havoc with one’s self esteem, but is a good way to meet people, my friend met hers online so it does happen. People marry partners they’ve met online everyday!

    I also find reading positive stories of others who have been in the same situation and found “the one” helpful. I keep working on myself, find something to laugh about everyday and try to think positively. It hasn’t worked yet, but we have to believe they’re out there!

    Mel.

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