Hi Nicole, I was looking through this website and was compelled to join so I could answer you. At the age of 16 my mum and dad got divorced, my dad was my everything and I had such a great realtionship so the fact he left as he was having an affari made me feel rejected and like he never really loved me. I tried for years to still have the relationship with him and buried my feelings, but his new wife did not want me near him so he stopped seeing me, again another big rejection and slap in my face. Why was my biggest queistion what did I do wrong and why wasnt I able to stop it from happening and why am I not good enough. So to read your comment above hit home to me and I so get how you feel and all the questions you have.
Time is a big part of healing and to talk, even if it is somewhere like this. My advice to you is for you to take control of this situation, only you create your happiness and when the negativity is around you it seems he destroys your world. You have to stoop this and take control. If he arranges to spend time with you and he lets you down, phone him and tell him..Dad I excpected to spend time with you today, you have let me down and that makes me feel sad and angry. He might not be able to tell you why he let you down and I doubt the answer he gives you is the one you want to hear but you havent sacrificed your feelings to upset him. Having control of emotions is the biigest key to most battles. I tell you this from 13 years of pain, crying and asking why to the point I took advice from someone and it made me feel like I was at peace. My father now has decided it was the biggest mistake ever and is trying to have a reationship with me again. When I asked him why he did what he did he didn’t know he was caught up in a moment…So the answer I wanted him to tell me was not the one i got. I forgive him now and will never forget it and he has to live with the guikt of missing out on things not me….Nothings was my fault and the situation you have is not your fault.
I hope this helps Nicole. Write a journal of your feelings when things happen and then leave it for a bit before you go back and read it a couple of days later, you will start to see that too much of your time is wasted on feeling sad when you need to look up and look left and right and find people who are on your team.

Bec