I think I’ve exhausted my efforts with friends so I’m moving on to the forum world for a different perspective.
Things were going great, my career, I had just taken a great adventure in Central America for 10 days and the whole time I was gone, everything was great with my boyfriend. We communicated every day and nothing seemed off kilter. They day I got back, he broke up with me. It’s been a little over a week and he is already seeing someone else. He claims that they are not dating, but through our lovely world of technology, I could see that he had sent her flowers on Valentine’s Day (only 3 days after he split with me). I can’t stop obsessing over what went wrong and I’ve forced him to try to give me answers… he says it’s not me, we just weren’t right for each other. He needs time… he still loves and misses me and claims that if he doesn’t have this distraction, he’ll be a mess. He doesn’t know if he’ll date her.
I don’t know where I’m going with this, but he alluded to the small chance that “he didn’t know if he could date me again… he wouldn’t do it unless he was 100% sure, he felt he gave all that he had for a year and a half and didn’t feel it was reciprocated”. To me, the grass is always greener on the other side. He sees this girl that also recently got out of a relationship and they are filling each other’s voids. What about my void? What about my loss? If he loves me and misses me, where am I in this equation? My mind fixates on the two of them, how quickly this transpired and how real can it be? Does it even matter? I clearly don’t love myself if I’m sitting here waiting for him while he so easily moves on to another girl. I love him so much that I want to wait, I want to wait for the smoke to clear and for him to see that this was just a release for him. Maybe I am delusional. I know I need to try to move on, to love myself, to get past that, but how do I do that when I still love and hold out hope for him?