Well, Castios, I have only read your post and not what the other two have written for you as advice as I want to give you a new perspective. I don’t think I have felt such a high degree of grief as you describe but I can surely empathise. You must understand as many great people have said, namely Osho, I don’t know if you have heard of him but his work always somehow mentions death, for example one should not fear death and so on. But what I am trying to say is that this life is indeed made up of two opposites and without one side, the other cannot exist – day and night must exist and so on. Thus, you have experienced the intensity of one side and as time passes, at whatever speed you perceive it to pass, you will see the other side as well. Right now, I urge you to channel this grief in the right direction and not pursue anti depressants but find a support group – tell people what you are going through, communicate with others or even approach a therapist and just talk it through with them. Talk about how you feel, don’t bottle it up. I believe that sharing your story with another will help you feel better at least for a while. Rest of the time, keep busy, pursue your goals or if you haven’t try to set some goals after careful consideration. Set goals not only to go through the grief but the act of setting goals will make you believe that even if there is loss, life will move on and you must too. Just like night comes after the day, you must understand and try to go with the flow of life and understand that this episode of grief must be taken in stride. You must move along with it, you must feel it, you must talk about it but you must not let it prevent you from seeing that life goes on. I hope this helps. In a nutshell, all I am trying to say is that you must not make this grief own you, you must own it and channel it so that you can feel better at a later stage that you did the best you can at that stage of your life.