Hi everyone!

I’m just posting an article I wrote recently which I thought you might like to read. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Helen 🙂

I’m A Focused Mum Walking In An Overloaded Mums Shoes

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” Unknown

My life’s insane at the moment – and I’m really not coping.

If you knew me, you’d know that that’s a really difficult thing for me to say. I am one of those people that looks completely together on the outside – but on the inside I am usually dealing with a tsunami of emotions that make it hard for me to hold it all together.

Why am I like that?

Hmm …. that’s a tough one to answer.

The intellectual in me would say I’m a very focused mum, wife, business owner and friend. One who is motivated, has goals she’s striving for, a lean body which has an amazing amount of physical energy and strength that gets me through the day.

This is the external view the world “should” see of me right? My upbringing, my role as a professional’s wife, my own role as a business owner makes it so – doesn’t it?

Goodness knows I can’t look a wreck when society expects me to look *so* together?

The soulful, heart-centred me would say that I’m putting on a mask, really not allowing the world to see how fragile, sensitive, intuitive I am. I really want to show that crazy outside world how much it hurts me to the core, but I keep powering on, because that’s what’s expected of me, right?

But you know what?

I can’t do it anymore.

Because it’s bringing me down, breaking my soul and my connection with the real me.

I have to start to live more authentically. If I don’t I know my soul is going to break, little by little, until I become … what?

So I’m here to say this little focused mum is officially overloaded, overwhelmed and over it.

I don’t want to air too much dirty laundry, because that just doesn’t feel right (the intellectual in me has to have the last laugh doesn’t it?!!) but what’s moved me from being such a focused woman to an overloaded one – and what am I going to do about it?

I have an ageing and very sick Dad

To be honest, and by no means melodramatic, my Dad has been sick for forty years. That’s nearly my whole life. But age and his worsening condition has led to long stays in hospital (both before Christmas and early this year) and difficulties stablising his condition.

Add to that the fact my parents live in a small country town, two hours from the nearest (decent) medical care, and an aging Mum, adds to the stress and worry I feel.

One of the benefits of being my own boss is that I am able to reschedule or just plain cancel things so I can focus on what’s important.

If I want to make a four-hour round trip to visit my Dad in hospital I can do that.

So that’s what I did.

I decided one day to drive to the hospital to see Dad as a surprise, 24 hours after he had been admitted. When I walked into his hospital room Dad had just returned from having tests done and didn’t expect to see me. There were tears, hugs, and feelings shared that I haven’t had the joy of sharing with him for such a long time.

He was SO sick yet so happy I was there to support him and share in his journey. I will be forever grateful that I took the time to make that trip. It is a day I will remember my whole life.

A business that’s forever evolving

I’ve been in business now for close to six years. My passion for it has come and gone constantly over that period, at times enough for me to pack it in, and other times when I’ve been so energised I haven’t been able to sleep!

But this past six months, and particularly the first two months of this year, has been nuts. I’ve had so many ideas, launched so many programs, had so many amazing meetings with amazing brands and people, met so many interesting people that can help me grow my business – I feel forever blessed!

But what about the book I desperately want to write?

And what about the time I want to put into my family – and more importantly, myself?

And how can I make sense of all of this – when it all sounds too good to be true?

You see, my business has become my life. Sure I love it, but do I want it to define me?

No.

I want it to be part of me – but not all of me.

Sacred Sunday is helping. Meditation is helping. Connecting with my soul sisters is helping.

It’s still a battle for me though. One I am striving to win by connecting with my guides and my higher self. By listening and sitting in silence I know I’ll get the answers I desperately need.

These are the two “biggies”. Of course there are others – the volunteer role that’s taking up a lot of time, the ongoing health concerns of our son, my Hubby and my relationship, my own health and self-relationship, having time for everything on my plate (which I’ll openly admit to putting there myself by saying “yes” too often).

But one thing I know for sure is that everyone is dealing with their own “stuff” – even those of us who look together on the outside.

I will move on from this crazy whirlwind of life.

I will move back to living the life of a focused mum.

I can’t predict when the change will happen.

But it will. I know that because I want I want it to.

I want my soul to soar, my life to be heart-centred and more in balance.

It’s a journey I have to take.

Bio

Owner and Director of Clutter Rescue, Helen Butler is an Accredited Expert Professional Organiser working with Mums to organise and declutter their home, schedule and life. Visit the Clutter Rescue website to sign up for the FREE five-day mini organising course and to discover your Mum Organising Style.