T, I am so glad you have moved out and moved in with your Mum; my boyfriend says similar things to me when I try and split with him; he can’t believe that he isn’t everything I need; he doesn’t want to hear that we have cracks that are turning into huge chasms. He says he thinks the world of me, he loves me to bits, he can’t see his world without me, why can’t I just see all the good things between us, that he doesn’t worry about us like I worry about us.
I don’t think my time with him has been wasted. I think it has given me the experience to understand what I could have from a relationship which has turned into what I don’t want from a relationship too I know what I may like in a new relationship.
I’ve heard that the news from the hospital isn’t good but I’ve decided not to get anymore upset about this (his dad is a lovely guy) as it’s not my cross to bear and my mental health is much more important.
During the past family visits I would speak to his dad A) because he was a lovely guy and this is where my partner gets his good qualities from and B) so I could zone out from his Mum. She can’t stay quiet for longer than 5 minutes and I only talk when I am interested in the conversation or have something to add.
One thing our mutual friend did say which is so true is that we spend too much time together and we don’t go out separately. What this friend doesn’t truly realise is I have no friends & I have hardly any family contact. I’d love to be able to get out an about doing fun things but I have no-one to do it with. The first few days after we split in March I got internet access at home and I joined a local female friends website but fear got the better of me and I didn’t do anything else apart from join.
I’ll be hoping that you stick with your decision. One of the posts said something along the lines of are you just settling? I know I am and I think you would be, soon like you I will walk away and have o fear and have strong faith and determination for a greater future.