Ruby,

Interesting story. I see that you’ve asked for opinions.

First off, is he still living out of the country and only visiting intermittently? The reality is that if this becomes serious, someone will have to move.

Next, I would agree with Matt. It is easy for us quickly use up our energy speculating. If you genuinely want to know where his head is at, you must ask him. If you do, you should be prepared to disclose where you’re at as well. As Dale Carenegie describes in “How not to Worry”, we should try to gather information before worrying. I believe that you’re in the information-gathering phase.

Lastly, you mentioned that he struggles with depression. From my experience, persons with depressive tendencies can really take it out of us. Although we may wish to rescue them, that really isn’t our role. Furthermore, though it may appear as though we can rescue them initially, the effect will fade over time. As many of the articles on this site point to, the depressed person must become responsible for addressing his depression himself.

Most importantly, my thoughts are simply an opinion – not advice. Only you will know what is best for yourself. With matters of the heart, I tend to try to follow my heart more than my head. But you must trust your decision-making ability.

There is nothing to be scared of. Things work out the way that they should. As quoted before, “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”- Dalai Lama

The emotions you describe are exciting. Enjoy the ride.
-M