Ashley,

You gotta see the situation as whole. You’re focusing too much on what you think you dont have. Do you honestly think that getting a husband, becoming a typical woman will actually solve the real problem? That somehow, once you get that magical wand to fix your life, what you feel is going to change? You will still have those old habits of labeling yourself as pathetic, lame and lonely. How can you be so cruel to yourself?

As for 28 years, my dear, people have lived longer than you and screwed up way more than you think. Their life isnt over and they are sure as hell not giving up on themselves. First of all, please for the love of God, stop calling yourself lame and pathetic. Confused is a better adjective. How can you expect anyone to like you or believe anyone will if you treat yourself like shit? People are here to support you, not to be your walking stick. Only you can choose to walk.

If your entire life is focused on getting the guy and becoming a mom, i can assure you that you will look for a million reasons why you cant do it – oh you’re fat, oh you’re boring..for chrissake, get of your house and see the world outside. If you dont have life experience, then start living. Life experience doesnt happen if you sit at home and only complain about how awful you are. Lot of shit happens in life and if you want to play chicken, then cry about not having any, i cant help you.

If you want to find love, go on dates- make mistakes, learn what things are like and finally, when you really are ready to walk on your own, you’ll find that person to hold your hand as an equal in your journey. If you dont like being over-weight, then start living better. You’re beautiful any size but your happiness is important too. As a fat chick who thought she was ugly for years, i can vouch for the fact that men like different things. I have different preferences too and nope, i dont want to be Marilyn Monroe – peroxide blonde is not my thing. My definition of fabulous is slightly different from TV but i would love to be like Golda Meir or Audrey Hepburn (she’s like my idol – that strong, powerful woman who made a difference :D) Looks can only take you so far.

Develop your mind, character and convictions – best life-long investment ever.

My point is, the day you stop giving a shit about what they think and live your life, have some fun, that day all of this stuff will cease to bother you. And you live in Colorado alone with your pets, you’ve got your friends and family – whats so pathetic about that? Please explain! You wanna live in a Bahamas with a raccon as a pet and a 6 ft 2 in Greek God and 5 kids? I mean jeez, this isnt the movies and life is not perfect. Neither are you, so stop this whole “i dont know anything. i am pathetic and lame. no one gets me. no man wants me” – Ashely, live your life. Whether you have a man or not, whether you have kids or not, life will go on.

Why are you allowing yourself to be miserable for so many years?

You wanna like yourself? Become your best friend. So what if she makes mistakes? So what if she has regrets? So what if she doesnt have everything figured out? She’s a magnificent work of art and we have yet to see how beautiful that piece will turn out. Listen to this song –

Ashley, you’re just 28 – you havent screwed up yet. You dont have a broken marriage, strained relations with your kids. You are in decent health. You do have friends and family. You have your cat and dog and i am sure they are really sweet. The world is out there but you cant expect to stay at home…expecting things to magically change while hating that reflection in the mirror.

This is an opportunity to start a process of self-love and its never too late!

– Moon