Dear Anna

I really can’t tell this person and that what’s killing me . We live in very conservative society . He is very respected person. I have been to him twice and when I made the promise , I was so emotional when I made the promise but after few days I realized I can’t keep it . I really respect this person , his opinion really matter to me but I just can’t keep the promise . I’m in such a dilemma nor can I go back nor can I move forward . I have been trying self help .i think I m falling into depression , I don’t have anyone to talk to , it’s been month I haven’t been out of my house. I am so nervous to meet other person , I always think what’s other gonna think about me . I can’t stop dwelling on my mistake , I just can’t help but beat my self for stupidity . How can I be such a stupid . I m thinking of leaving my country so I don’t have to face this person . Please help me any advice or suggestion .