For me codependency has been very real. I am slowly (this year) letting go and learning my way out of my co dependent relationship. Which is extremely difficult given the fact that we still live together. Being co dependent is horrific. It makes you physically ill from emotions and feelings. Who knew. My codependency is with an alcoholic and drug user. I would literally make myself so physically sick with worry and having to take care of him in every way possible that I could no longer function as myself. I took it upon myself after my therapist looked at me and she told me: “As a therapist I could recommend millions of ways and things to help you, but as a woman, as a person, as a friend I could tell you this. You are going to kill yourself doing this to yourself. Your son is going to be a depressed and anxious boy if you continue to submit yourself to this. Get a grip on life and start the process of letting go. You want to be with this man, fine. But it has to be different, it has to change. YOU have to change.” Those words drilled into my head like nothing else ever had. I looked at my son that day when I got home and hugged him so tight. My heart broke to realize the damage I was doing to him. So I got a grip on life. I took every tool that I had been given by my therapist, books, meetings, whatever, and finally put it to use. I started attending Nar Anon meetings and it changed my life. Sure I still struggle but boy have I come a long way in just a few months. You have to know that you cant help people. Especially those that cannot help themselves. I know my story is not the same as yours but I can associate with what you are feeling. I can only suggest to continue your meetings. They are wonderful and so very helpful. It has changed my life around when I didn’t think anything else could.