Ashley,

In addition to Dain’s kindly intended words, consider growing some compassion for the girl you were a few summers back, and keep in heart the reasons you were seeking some comfort, playfulness, sensual pleasure, or whatnot. As we grow, our memories often have to be hugged and let go of, because as we learn lessons, its troubling to believe how foolish we were. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

Looking back and judging ourselves based on who we are now is pointless, purposeless. Here and now, perhaps wisdom is better rooted, empathy a little more open, or whatnot, having grown as a being. However, we’ve inevitably had a lot of bloopers along the way (how else did we grow?) but often the stories are loving at the time. Said differently, consider how light and fun it was to dance with him… and then accept that his relationship status gave the dance a cost (guilt, feeling of harm toward a sister), and take a breath, just accept some dumpy feelings. Then, be free, let it go. The heart grows wise, we naturally don’t do that stuff again… not worth it. You have the heart of a sister, and don’t wish to cross that boundary with them. That’s great, plenty. Not a malicious thread in your stories. So, just resolve not to do that again. Problem solved, move on. 🙂

For a potential reunion, the ball’s in your court. Hopefully, you’ll have healed your guilt by then, found some self acceptance. That’s what you’re here for, right? 🙂 So, if you wish to talk to him about the fun, the guilt byproduct (he played a part in that, charming man that he was 🙂 ) or anything at all, do it. Maybe he listens, maybe he laughs, but that’s on him, his, not yours. If you don’t want to bother chatting, just wave, a fellow you shared a dance with once. Why fret?

For the shame… sister, you do odd things when you’re horny/playful/lonely/learning. Join the huuuuuuge club. We do our best with the cards we have, and learn a lot through trial and error. You don’t need such a heavy mantle, weight, for such a fumble. Good people do odd things, but it all knits together along the way.

Namaste, sister, may you find acceptance for your gentle wings.

With warmth,
Matt