Oh, I understood that you weren’t teaching children (as they wouldn’t have a choice to not attend your class), but wasn’t sure what sort of students these were. And to be fair, even adults can behave in incredibly childish ways. There’s also the ego thing that comes up with adult students.
I’ve been a technical trainer and in general am constantly faced with situations where I need to explain something complex and technical to another person. There is indeed a tricky balance to be found. If you oversimplify, they will be hurt that you’d think that they weren’t clever enough to understand the topic. If you get too technical, you might inadvertently make them feel stupid. Different people react in different ways when they feel stupid. What we want, of course, is for them to say that they don’t understand and would like you to lower your level a bit so that they can catch up. Unfortunately that’s not really how it usually goes. Some will be quiet and pretend that they understand, even though they don’t. Some will get upset and defensive, even a bit aggressive. I don’t take it personally anymore though it’s never fun when someone gets upset instead of explaining to me that they are confused.
When I was still a technical trainer in the telecom field, my training sessions weren’t cheap. I didn’t personally get all the money, but in any case, the companies paid a lot of money for my services. I didn’t always perform in a way I wish I had, but what can you do? You can’t take it back, you can’t change history, and sometimes there really were some very difficult students. One man tried to have sex with me and when I refused, he made sure that my course for the next day was as difficult as possible. It was stupid.
In general, it would be so good for your anxiety to acknowledge that how people treat you often does not have that much to do with you. Sometimes you just trigger something in another person and they start to act out their own fears and anxieties. It’s normal.
You don’t have to take drugs to cure it. Compassion helps. Now that you are abroad, seek some kind souls to spend time with, who can alleviate your anxiety. Don’t just think about it and isolate yourself. It’ll blow out of proportion and you stop seeing the situation from a neutral and realistic perspective.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 