Yogabunny,

I have spent around 18 months hanging in there, hoping something may change but it doesn’t. I can only assume that he is committed to his girlfriend. He used to mention her but he doesn’t anymore. Sometimes if he is telling me about his weekend or something like that he’ll say “we went to the theatre” or something like that and by we I’m assuming he is talking about her but generally she doesn’t come up in conversation. I mentioned a guy that I was seeing a while back once and he got a very strange look on his face. Almost like a hurt look. Again, hard to explain. I’ve had a lot of trouble with work lately and have been flitting between jobs and at times it has looked like I may have had to leave that gym. Last time I finished a job he said “will you still come here if you get the other job?” and he had a genuine look of concern on his face like he was scared I’d be going. Maybe I should go. Would be interesting to see if he kept in touch if he was no longer my trainer/instructor.
I am pally with a few guys at the gym and after christmas earlier this year one of them came up to me and asked for a New Years kiss. Nothing pervy at all. He’s married and just a sweet guy and gave me a peck on the cheek to say happy new year. After he did it he looked straight at my trainer as if to see his reaction. They are both very pally with each other.

The thing that bothers me most is when he goes cold. it’s kind of obvious that he’s doing it on purpose. He tries to act like I’m not there but then I catch him looking at me when he thinks I’m not looking. He does that a lot too. He stares at me when he thinks I’m not paying attention but I’m so aware of him I always feel it. It’s the connection again. So hard to explain but sometimes we even move in sync and mirror each others body language. I do believe in past lives and soul mates and I do believe that he is one of mine. Hard to put into words but I do feel it with all my being. I’m glad you understand what I mean. I really don’t know what the answer to all this is. Fight or flight.