Thanks Mags and Big Blue,
What you both are saying makes sense I should be doing many of things everyone has mentioned. The funny thing is, I was doing so many of the things not long after it happened.
About a month and a half of grieving after it first happened, I started doing a number of these things. I started kickboxing again. I went to counseling from the moment it happened. I was taking care of the boys (That’s never been an issue for me),eating right and trying to socialize and be positive. I was doing fairly good and should have stayed to course.

At the time, I think I was trying to prove something to her. That I was going to be ok and her heartless act wasn’t going to break me. During this time, for about 6 months, I wasted time trying to get her to come back. Sometime during that period, I just crashed again. I don’t think I went through a proper grieving period for the ending of my marriage.

Big Blue said to just forgive her. It’s just difficult when I think of how callous she was to me and how she can be to our kids. I don’t feel like a victim anyone. I just married a self absorbed person who no conscience. I don’t contact her at all unless it’s absolutely necessary and about the kids.

Mags, I have starting doing meditation again. Just so you know, I read about what you have went through in one of your posts and I hope things keep improving for you also. Everyone deserves happiness on this forum and it a shame to see so many people struggling with hardships. Thanks again everyone