Hi tinywanderlust,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply – you actually cannot begin to imagine how thankful i am. When i wrote the post yesterday i thought – what has happened to the people who previously posted – are they ok? Are they back with their ex’s, have the ex’s woken up and realised what they have done or have the ladies moved forward? Enigma and your story was like reading chapters of my own.

A few years ago we also went to therapy and before they guy had even met my ex he said do you really want to carry on with this? After having a joint session where my ex just took over everything the guy said he would like to see me on my own, and behold that was thrown up in my face when i left last week. It was – “do you see YOU have problems – the guy wanted to see you and YOU never went back – YOU have the problems – NOT ME!” I never went to see the guy again as after my ex had his rant in therapy he seemed to calm down and put effort in etc. It was as though he needed to just get off his chest what he needed to – to yet another outsider who was willing to listen.
For a long time though, i’ve thought well maybe it is me – i’ve only really had 3 serious relationships and all 3 have failed – so maybe the common denominator is me??

For me – there were lots of good times and when i miss him – that is all that i can seem to remember – but the bad always outweighed the good and like yours, the 1st time was also only a month into the relationship where i got a glimpse of the person he was.

My problem is that I am hoping that he will just WAKE UP and go – damn this woman has been with me through thick and thin, look at what she does for me, look at what she has sacrificed for me and our family and look at how i have treated her, how i have spoken to her and how I am so sorry that have done it, but the truth is him being a narcissist (which he is) – he is NEVER going to.

My other big problem is that there is still a lot of mine and my daughters stuff at the house, which i need to get and i know that when i go – he is going to have a go at me about how i have abandoned him, thrown away the relationship etc (because of my daughter – as he is telling everyone that will listen that she is the reason this has happened – which is not the case, yes she has added stress to an already fragile relationship and this last incident was the straw that broke the camel’s back – but she is not the cause of it). And possibly my biggest problem is that I have a Husky puppy who i love more than life itself – and he is still with my ex, he has agreed to keep him there until i can get on my feet and find a place – but i will have to have contact with him until then and that is going to be for at least the next few months. (My mom’s townhouse does’t permit animals otherwise i would have had him with me) – the contact is the biggest problem. As i wish i could just delete everything and close the book entirely.
I’ve also just found out that he is going out on Friday night from mutual friends, and i already have a knot in my stomach – knowing that he is going to get completely hammered and more than likely pick up as many woman as possible and enviably take one of them home and i feel shattered about that. A friend of mine asked if i wanted to go out tonight and i declined but i think i need to phone her back and say i’m going to go!

I am so glad that you have found someone new and that he treats you so well tinywanderlust – from your posts you absolutely deserve all the happiness in the world xx