Hi
I love Matt’s advice if it were man to man. Unfortunately …
This guy is abusive!! And Dangerous!!
The third paragraph gave me chills. This is serious. Are you going to wait until you have infants and toddlers until you honor yourself with a safe place to live? Your husband, the man of the house, should deal with this. If he won’t, it is up to you to change the locks, get a restraining order and police protection while you move his things out. I’m not kidding.
After “sexually assaulted you” it doesn’t matter (not to mention threatened family, things he said) you should move and tell DH you will return when this “friend” is gone.
Or, rent a small apartment and kick DH and “friend” in there. It is worth first and last months rent to be safe in your own home.
Don’t worry ~ I’ve known several people who have been in your situation (without the abuse!) and the friends ALWAYS, very quickly! find another place to go! He’ll be fine.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 