Jen A – First of all, sending healing thoughts to you.

I have to ask this – because I’ve seen guys back peddle & vaporize like this before but not say what’s really going on – is it possible he is or has or wants to become involved with someone else? The fact that you are out of the country gives him all sorts of latitude to explore a new life without really having to tell you about it. There’s been a lot of stuff happen between you two, and a new relationship has none of that baggage. I am reading between his lines…

I don’t intend to plant suspicions in your head BUT, especially with the birthday non-eventness, it is the first thing that is going through my head. Those are not the actions of someone who professes to love you and want to be with you. Actions speak louder than words. Actions reveal true intent where words are, especially at a safe distance, just words.

“…you’re out there meeting guys I’m sure and I’m in no position or headspace to be the man you want and deserve right now and I can’t meet your demands or requirements, I need to fix my life, focus on my son and my career and it will only tear us further apart, I love and value you”

Value you? Yikes. Words that strike terror in my heart. Things that make me go hmmmmm. It sounds to me like he wants you to let him go. If he can get you to do that on your own, then he is not culpable or on the hook for whatever he has going.

Next time you do have communication with him, just ask him “is there someone else”? Ask for and be willing to accept an honest answer.

I truly hope that all he is needing is time to get decompressed from the events you describe. If that is the case, let him be, follow Gabriela’s advice, it’s good.

I hope this doesn’t stress you out more, but I think, humbly, it’s something you may want to consider.

Best wishes.