CM,

Wow, truly wonderful. You really open up, pour out your feelings, all the pain and hurt. Great work! Now that its out, consider getting closure by burning the letter. Print it out, crumple it up into a fireproof bowl, cover it in oil, and offer it up to the universe for healing “May the words be carried to the heart of the cosmic mother, and may all of us connected to these feelings find freedom, healing”.

Its normal to have old hurts come up, especially as we become more open, vulnerable to our partner. But don’t poop in her face, ya know? She doesn’t need to read that, be dragged through the muck of your old cankered pains for you to be healed. Healing comes as you let go, realize you both were idiots back then, and have grown a lot since. It makes sense to want to get it out, be free, but her heart is tender, friend.

As you burn the hurt, give it back, forgive whatever caused the old mud, its OK to keep the good things you learned. “I like this and this, don’t like that and that.” So, try to grow what you do like, erode what you don’t. If you find yourself dwelling again, write it all down again, print it out, burn it again. Consider: that’s a really pretty wedding dress she’s wearing, no need for mud to be thrown on it, just because she acted poorly years ago.

With warmth,
Matt