Todzilla,

Bravo, I’m really impressed by how clearly you’re noticing thoughts and emotions. Not knowing what is really happening on her side leaves me wondering…perhaps without you, she has some difficulty keeping her empathy open. Said differently, perhaps she is already full of her daily stresses, and when you unload, she doesn’t have the space to hear you.

Also, are you dumping out your stress or asking her for comfort? Such as, blerting out a bunch of random gobbly-goo, then waning her to run and console you? Or approaching her emotionally, such as “wow, i’ve had a long day. Could I get a hug?”. Possibly, as she tries to listen to your story, she gets lost or disoriented. With your obviously sophisticated and well honed awareness, its plausible you’re seriously overwhelming her with data.

Dropping the bar altogether is a great goal, in my opinion. Consider: less “turning toward one another to rekindle our heart, release our stress” and more “shaking off the stress, rekindling the heart, and sharing in the warmth that remains.” Practically, this looks like self care taking the brunt, such as having a 15 meditation when you get home, so you can parse the white noise stress from the actual needs. Like, take a shower, and if stink remains, perhaps then ask for some back scrubbing. If meditation isn’t your thing, perhaps a walk in nature, some light exercise, soft music, a bath.

With warmth,
Matt