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Thank you Tir and bill for your kind responses.
I hope I do find some truly good people.
About joining ‘groups’. I’m a pretty uncomfortable with groups at present. Also, I’ve have had some bad experiences with ideological groups in particular. You see, when I was a younger, I used to think that world was divided into two groups, good and bad, and there was this battle between good and evil going on. I thought that everyone on my side, with my ideologies were good, and everyone against those were bad. When grew up a little, and actually started getting involved in groups like that, I discovered I couldn’t have been more wrong. The people on one side were no different from the people I condemned on the other side; they were just as hateful, prejudice, mean and ignorant as their “enemies”. A perfect mirror image of one another. I learned that there are no ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’ in this world, they’re all quite the same really. After that I stayed away from these people, not just because I was disappointed, but because those groups were one of the most toxic, hostile, horrible environments I’d ever been in and they had a terrible effect on my psyche (I guess they still do in a way).
Also I do love animals. Joining the Bonobos isn’t far off from what I’d like to do; which is to move about out to the boonies and just stay in the forest.
Thanks for understanding how difficult it was for me to do this. I am trying to put myself out there, if very cautiously. I’m trying to limit my interaction with positive healthy people too (and naturally avoid toxic people). I feel like in the past toxic people have just ‘come out of nowhere’ and I never know when someone is going to turn out to be toxic or not so I just avoid meeting new people all together (better to be safe than sorry, I say). I know that toxic people have a bad effect on others in general, but I’m also overly sensitive and emotional so I feel it has an extreme effect on me. If there are red flags to toxic people though, maybe I can learn to spot them and thus avoid them.