Sorry about my double post, but I’ve been thinking a bit more and I realized I may have not been clear about some points above.

I believe a change of heart is always possible and one may follow a path of growth that breaks him free of his wrong assumptions and bad habits. However, you, as his girlfriend, are not in a very good position to help your boyfriend. You have an underlying interest, he may always accuse you (within himself at least) to be manipulative yourself and be suspicious of everything you propose. Moreover, due to that very interest, you are going to suffer because your needs are not met. You may actually help him more as a friend rather than as a girlfriend, when you are happy with your life. Some spiritual consuelor or psychologist may be a good help as well. A better help is a nice community to stay in. But this is going to require a lot of time and effort, maybe as many days as he’d been thinking that manipulation is a good thing. Do you want to wait so much?