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Hi There!
When people have affairs it’s usually when the kids are older and life has become drudgery. This paramour of yours sounds young and everything is brand new! Of course you can’t compete with a newborn daughter! You just can’t! His lifestyle changed dramatically! Wait until she’s over the age of ten, not as cute anymore, and self sufficient!
That being said, I know that ultimately this is not what you want. He is an addiction. And what’s worse, he is an addiction that doesn’t (really) seek you out! So, if you contact him every day, wait two. Then contact him and wait three. At this point he will contact you. Don’t reply. Wait four days. Once you get to the eight days no contact mark he should be going crazy.
But wait, there’s more. When you see him, no sex. Now it should become obvious if he really loves you or has been playing you.
That boring nice clueless husband of yours sounds better and better. Let him “win”. Put all your attention that you would have given the other guy onto him.
See what happens. Your life will improve dramatically.