Hi Mermaid!

I appreciate you reaching out to me on my other post and wanted to drop by and familiarize myself with your current situation.

To begin with, 29 is NOT old. WE are not old! In fact, I made so many bad decisions in my past, I look forward to turning thirty next year! For some reason or another, it seems therapeutic to be able to leave my “young naive, learning” years behind. So that is the positive perspective I have on being fortunate to be 29! We don’t necessarily have to have accomplished any major goals by a specific deadline, we are just fortunate to be older and wiser and several miles farther from the instances we might otherwise regret…and after being in marketing for a number of years, I can say numbers do help flip the mindset! 30 seems exciting and new compared to 29. It’s the beginning of a new chapter. Begin a countdown celebration to your birthday, now!

That said, I can also relate to moving back somewhere, expecting to automatically return to the great joy and happiness the environment provided me, previously. My fiance and I argue – a lot lately, with all the stress we are enduring. We are passionate and we are in love with one another, but sometimes I find myself wondering if moving him to my hometown and changing his entire life plan, was a good idea. I worry he might resent me at some point, though he is not the type at all. I don’t know your exact situation regarding your ex, but I can tell you I relate to moving back to a place of happiness and experiencing difficulties with the loved one.

I can’t give you any specific advice there without further information, but I want you to know that those who are meant to be in your life, will find you, and if they leave, they will find a way to come back, one way or another. And if he is not meant to be, try to take the lessons you learned from the relationship and apply those to future relationships and your life in general. What do you need/desire/require/want in yourself, in order to find that in others? Have you decided you want to change the world and listen to John Lennon all day, inspired to write one life changing idea after another? Then it’s probably not a good idea to find someone who hits the bars every night. That’s incredibly broad, but meant to get the point across, that once you discover your innermost desires, only then can you truly know real love.

Perhaps you have spent several years battling CFS that you haven’t really been allowed enough time to explore what makes you happy? If you find you connect with nature in a way that awes and inspires you, spend more time outside walking, jogging, yoga in the park, gardening. You’ll find a sense of peace in whatever your “preferred” environment and at that point, the dots should begin to connect again, and the ideas will trickle in.

At least that is what happened for me. But I believe you will find your way back on the path of clarity. It is said, it is always darkest before the dawn. Just remember to let it be and believe there will be an answer. (In the jumbled words of the great Mr. John Lennon!)

I wish you the best of luck!!!

Love,
jd