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OMG, gailicgirl,
My heart goes out to you. But WAY TO GO, you are a Warrior Woman!! That’s absolutely right, HE has to tell you he wants a divorce! And not only that, you have kids now. Not to put down single parents (hi, my Mom!) but a divorce would be absolutely devastating. For no reason. There, I said it!
If he comes at you with “I love you but I’m not in love with you”, or even the “divorce” word, you know what you say?
“I don’t buy it.”
He will be stunned and have to seriously think about his “decision” based on feelings.
If he presses, repeat, “I don’t buy it. You spent months courting me, and winning me over. I married you out of the goodness of my heart. So for you to change your mind? Sorry, I don’t buy it.”
He will then have to work on the marriage, leave it alone until he gets over it, or do all the messy divorce work himself. Aside from maybe getting or continuing a job, don’t do anything unless you have to.
Get the old book Kosher Adultery, How to Seduce and Sin with your Spouse.
If you stay married, in five years he’ll be over this stage. Like the flu.
Good Luck,
Inky