Hello,
So before I begin I’d like to say that ‘trying to be normal’ is only hiding who you really are. We’re all crazy. The idea of normal is a concept, not reality. Secondly, communicating your feelings in a relationship is one of the most important things you can do. When you hold things in, it creates a barrier between the two of you. How can someone truly appreciate you if they don’t know what’s really going on? You deserve to be completely and fully loved and withholding yourself is destructive. By saying that you want him to see your post is incredibly passive aggressive. Respect yourself and your relationship enough to stand up for it.

It sounds like he hasn’t been completely honest with you throughout this relationship and in only 10 months, that is usually a red flag. A warning. To withhold information from you, especially in the beginning, isn’t very trustworthy and the fact that he contacted his ex so soon and so often after your relationship started is a sign that he may not be over her and is using you to not only get his ex’s attention but to use you to make himself feel better. You need to be careful of people that use you in order to feel better about themselves. They’re everywhere.

But let’s be honest. You came here for help and the truth will set you free. So, with that said, I’m not going to say you were right to look at his facebook but when you don’t trust him, I can understand why you did. A relationship without trust, communication, and respect is not a good relationship to be in. Regardless of whether you love each other or not, a strong, healthy relationship requires more than that. It seems like you’re the one making all the sacrifices while he just uses you to feel better about yourself. You deserve A LOT better than that, I promise you.

My advice would be to first sit him down and tell him everything. Even though it’s hard, peacefully tell him how you feel. You know what the truth is and he does to. It’s time to address that. Stop pretending to be fake and let him see the real you. Sacrificing your happiness and well-being for someone who doesn’t return that will run you dry. It might be time to have a relationship with yourself. Deepen your understanding of what you want in a partner and become a better partner from this. This doesn’t need to be a horrible, negative experience! This can be a positive opportunity for both of you to become better people and become better partners. If this person was the one, you would know and you would push past any obstacle to be with that person. However, that should not come at the cost of your happiness and health. ‘The one’ should help you be better, not make you worse.

My personal blog is thepathofaronin.blogspot.com. Check it out if you need any help. Stay strong and find the courage to stand up for yourself and accept who you are.