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Adam

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 37 total)
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  • #78523
    Adam
    Participant

    Cyd,
    When you meet the right person, the fears you now have will be exciting to overcome. The thoughts you have now only fuels that fear but you have to see them as irrational and not practical because in the present moment, you don’t have a partner to work on these things with. See this experience as an opportunity to better yourself. The better you are, the better you can care for your partner. It’ll be easier to overcome your fear when you have someone worth overcoming them for and you too will benefit from this. It will make the experience with them even more beautiful.

    Expose yourself in a safe way to your anxieties about this and slowly begin overcoming them one step at a time. You seem like a good person and if you push yourself to commit to working on bettering yourself, you will undoubtedly find success. Go slow, know what the real issue is, and take steps to correct them.

    Remember that you’re not being held at gunpoint to feel the way you do. It’s a choice. Commit your thoughts to thinking more positive about this, see yourself overcoming these obstacles, even if you don’t feel worthy, always know that you are.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may offer further advice.

    Good luck, my friend!

    #77810
    Adam
    Participant

    My friend,
    As someone who has and still is dealing with panic disorder and OCD I understand how crippling it can be in life. Few understand the pressure, stress, and disease it causes in daily life. You must understand that you were born this way and once you can see your anxiety as a blessing and use it to your advantage, you’ll begin to have more control over it.

    I’ve found that the key to panic disorder is combination of acceptance and exposure therapy. Exposing yourself to what you’re afraid of in a comfortable atmosphere at first, then slowly expanding. If you’re going to control your anxiety, you must become the anxiety and let it seep into your being. Understand why you feel a certain way, why it can be beneficial, and what you can do to direct that energy in a positive way.

    Once you can do this, you will realize that your anxiety gives you heightened senses, a powerful ability to focus, and an strategic way of analyzing situations. However, when anxiety isn’t directed, it falls into chaos. It runs through our bodies trying to find a way to release itself which makes everything so much worse. The trick is to direct the anxiety before it sets in.

    Begin discipling yourself to experience your anxiety slowly at first. Remember to breathe and remind yourself that your anxiety may not even be rational. Face the anxiety and direct it towards positive action. Any positive action. The more you ignore, suppress or become frustrated, the worse it’s going to get.

    I hope this helps. My personal blog is Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com and may offer further advice.

    Good luck!

    #77789
    Adam
    Participant

    Any good man worth being in a relationship in wouldn’t hold you back from doing something you want to do. Your personal growth and success must come first, even in the face of something or something you want. It may seem selfish, but if you’re going to be a healthy, successful person, your well-being should always come first. If you think he would support you and your personal growth, then I say go for it. If he wouldn’t though, I’d say stay as friends until you’re able to commit to a relationship.

    I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck!

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may offer better advice!

    Good luck.

    #77399
    Adam
    Participant

    Miranam,
    You seem like a wonderful person and a wonderful friend to have. I’m sorry that you’re facing this challenge right now but I’m sure you can turn it into something positive if you can learn from it. I believe you’re giving too much of yourself to these people and because they don’t return that generosity, you feel wronged in a way. I don’t think the lesson here is to get new friends but to control the amount of energy and time you invest in them. Instead, invest that time and energy into yourself. When you find the people worth making that effort for, you’ll know why they’re worth that on a deeper level because of this experience. Everything is an opportunity to grow and learn.

    However, if these people are in need of your help, then being appreciated should be the furthest thing from your mind. “True compassion is not about giving or taking. True compassion is doing just what is needed.” We don’t show compassion because we have to, we show compassion because we want it to exist in our own lives. Without people like you, compassion wouldn’t exist in the lives of those around you. Find the strength to show compassion and appreciation as a way of life rather than a means to receive them. What you think is what becomes your reality.

    Good luck my friend. Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may offer further assistance.

    #77242
    Adam
    Participant

    Hello,
    I understand how you must feel about this. You must know that the pain this causes is necessary for you to go through in order to move forward and grow. Don’t block the pain or reject it. Feel it, accept it, and let it pass. That is how you let go. You will be amazed at how quickly things turn around.

    We all have break-up stories and feeling like your heart broken is can be a beautiful thing. Having the ability to love that much is a blessing in disguise. Be strong, when feelings arise, just breathe and accept them.

    See the positive that will come from this situation and be grateful for the experience.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may be helpful.

    Good luck my friend!

    #77232
    Adam
    Participant

    Hey Pat,
    The quote, “If you seek it, you will never find it.” comes to mind here. Happiness and peace aren’t destinations or goals to reach, they are a state of being. In that state you are overcome with appreciation, gratitude, joy, and acceptance. However, when you focus on what you don’t have, where you should be, or how things could’ve gone, you are incapable of being in a that happy state of being.

    Appreciation for everything you have, gratitude for all life, find joy in simplicity, and acceptance for who you are, where you are, and what you have the ability to do in this moment.

    It takes time, dedication, and discipline but once you begin on this path, happiness is found everywhere. Don’t believe what you think you know or understand. Surround yourself with appreciation, gratitude, joy, and acceptance in all that you do and happiness will engulf you.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may offer more useful suggestions. Good luck my friend.

    #75838
    Adam
    Participant

    I once believed as you did, my friend. That God had turned a blind eye to me as I felt most people already did. It was almost like I had this unwanted ability to disappear which left me so alone. I never felt more alone than I did at that point but then something unpredictable and magnificent happened; I began to love others regardless of what they showed me. I began to accept others for not treating me the way I wanted to be treated and I let go of the anger I had towards them.

    When I chose to love these people, I was free from the prison that loneliness is. I felt connected to the trees and flowers that no one gave a damn about. I fell in love with the silent savior of nature and within nature, I found God. Love is the answer and if you choose to love, you will begin to connect so deeply with the world around you that it will be impossible to ever feel alone again. I speak from the truth of my experiences and the happiness that is in my life now.

    Choose to fight loneliness with love and you will find what you’re looking for.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com

    Good luck to you.

    #75833
    Adam
    Participant

    These feelings may just be a result of the meditation practice you’re performing. If you center your meditations around feelings of love and compassion I think you would be surprised by the results. “What we think, we shall become.” Keep that in mind and know that mixing things up is sometimes necessary to survive. Like seasons in the year, winter and summer need each other to exist.

    Hope this helps.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com

    #74353
    Adam
    Participant

    “Trying is having the intention to fail. You gotta scrap that word from your vocabulary. Say you’re going to do it and you will.”

    You know what you need to do to move forward. It’s typically the things you’re too afraid to do. Trust your life, know what you want, work hard and you will always find happiness.

    thepathofaronin.blogspot.com

    #72659
    Adam
    Participant

    Hey,

    I think your problem lies in your perception of the issue. You say you try but trying is neither doing or failing. If you were to commit yourself to what you want instead trying to, you would have much more success. Your solution doesn’t lie within your mind but in your ability to act. Verbally tell yourself to let go of your expectations. Accept what is and what you can control. Physically push yourself to experience things that you can’t form expectations of.

    Let life surprise you. You know you’re strong enough to handle life’s challenges, you know you’re capable of finding happiness within yourself, and love is always around you. So what harm can come from opening yourself up to life?

    You know expectations diminish spontaneity and joy so stop depriving yourself of it!

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may offer further help. Good luck my friend!

    #72658
    Adam
    Participant

    Hey,
    Your first sentence is what your problem is. Trying to relax. If I tell you not to think of a giant pink elephant, it’ll be exactly what comes into your mind. It works the same way when you tell yourself to do something that you don’t know how to do.

    Instead, set aside time in your day to meditate. Meditation isn’t only about relaxing your body. It’s about awareness and acceptance as well. So keep an open mind when you take the time to do this.

    Start by creating a soothing atmosphere and either sit cross-legged or lie on your back, which ever is preferred and just simply begin to breathe.

    Breathe in deeply through your nose, filling your gut, and slowly exhale out of your mouth. Count each breath. In and out. If you lose track, start again.

    This is an introduction. When you can sit there and do this for at least an hour without feeling anxious, take the next step. To think that people meditate simply to relax will close your mind to what meditation actually leads to. Be open, leave your expectations at the door and be filled with the breath in the present moment.

    #71018
    Adam
    Participant

    Jey.

    First, I agree with what you’re saying but allowing these things to effect you so greatly is taking away your ability to find happiness. The things that bother you to this degree are things that are the same things that are keeping you away from letting them go and accepting them for what they are. It would serve you well to reflect within yourself and figure out why these things truly bother you. If you’re truly happy within yourself, then what could possibly be worth getting angry at and losing your happiness?

    People reflect on their past achievements to find strength and to empower themselves; others use their past failures to fuel their own fear of trying new things in order for them to see new opportunities as future failures then use that as a reason to stick with what they are comfortable with. These people limit their ability to live in the present moment which results in stress, anxiety, and fear. Accepting someone can only be achieved when you’re aware of the fact that everyone in the world is doing the best they can from their level of consciousness. Meaning, people are doing the best the can with the small amount of information they have. In order to respect their decisions and their life’s path, find respect for yours. What makes others happy doesn’t effect you so focus on what you need in order to be happy.

    What is the purpose of different universes to us? Why does everything have to have a purpose? What would you do if you lost your memory completely and had no idea who you were? Would that stop you from feeling fulfilled and happy in life? You deserve happiness just as much as every living creature on this Earth and there’s nothing that should stop any of us from finding pure happiness.

    If you need life to mean something, find meaning in expressing compassion to others, find purpose in kindness, and truth in love. By following customary or traditional beliefs, you limit your ability to understand what you honestly believe which effects the values you live by as well. Don’t point the finger at other’s mistakes, focus on what you need to do in order to be internally joyful, then share it with the world.

    “Our only purpose in life is to find happiness in our lives, then selflessly share it with our everything around us.”

    Good luck! I hope this helped in some way.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may help if you need any advice.

    Take care, friend.

    #71017
    Adam
    Participant

    Hello,
    Let me start by saying that you will leave the place you are now. Whether that be in 5 weeks, 5 months, or 5 years, I assure you, it will happen as long as you know where you want to go and have a plan to get there. Appreciate the home you have now, for you will miss it even though you may not be able to see that now. Figure out where it is you want to go, why you want to go there, and know why it’s important to you. Start saving money and plan out the finances you’ll need to succeed in the move you want to make. Make goals to get closer to your dream location and always have a back up plan. Then build up the courage to go out and live your life.

    There’s so much in this world and I wish you the best in experiencing it.

    I hope this helps. Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may offer further advice if you ever need it.

    Take care!

    #71016
    Adam
    Participant

    Hello,
    I have to say that I have struggled with the same issues before and though our experiences are different, we can still share how we were able to overcome the obstacles we faced in the hope that others will find success and comfort in the words.

    In martial arts, we call these stages plateaus. Plateaus are points in our spiritual journey where we find ourselves in the middle of ending one path and beginning another one. When one reaches a plateau, that time is meant to be served as a period of inner reflection and preparation. Reflect on the person you were when you began your spiritual journey, reflect on what impacted you most, on what skills you’ve acquired and reflect on which direction you desire to grow. The preparation stage serves as an opportunity to empty your cup so that you can fully experience the beginning of the new path. Imagine a large river dividing into many separate rivers. This plateau is to be seen as the point of transition into one of the other rivers. When you commit yourself to who you want to be, you will become a part of a different flow and the plateau will have served its purpose.

    As frustrating as this time may be, realize that it is necessary and recognize that this too is part of your path. No one can tell you how long it takes to overcome. Only by dedicating yourself to your journey and honing your ability to be patient and preserver can help you. Once you gain confidence in your path, it’ll be much easier to adjust. These lessons are meant to test you and push your limitations beyond what they used to be so expect it to be difficult. The beautiful part is that the things that require your sincere attention and push you to work hard typically reward us twice as much.

    Be patient with yourself and your journey and be present in the moment. When you’re ready, the path will reveal itself. Just make sure you’re paying attention.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may help as well. I wish you all the happiness along your journey, my friend.

    Peace

    #70130
    Adam
    Participant

    It has taken me 25 years to have the relationship I have with my father and though our experiences are different, I feel that I may be able to offer some advice. First off, you can’t control any person and your dad is the way that he is. You gotta to be able to accept that person by focusing on all the positive traits about him that you just listed.

    What worked best for me was learning from my father’s behavior and using those lessons to become a better man. I’m not saying you should do this, but use everything you can to better yourself because if you continue allowing him to anger you and allowing him to make you feel uncomfortable in your own house then you’re the one that will pay for it. Your dad will not be in your life forever and it’s important that you learn to become grateful for the moments you do have with him.

    Dealing with family can be hard but if you want to find peace with them you have to first have peace within yourself. Always be willing to forgive and don’t lose your temper with him. Be the best person you can be so that when your time together is over, you can look back on the experience with acceptance and happiness.

    thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may help, so please feel free to use it. Stay positive. Good luck, my friend.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 37 total)