Hi Kyniska,

Being alone can be tough and the fear of never finding someone special, especially following experiences of heart break can be soul crushing at times. No one in this world can promise that you will find that special someone in your life but the surest way of not finding it is by giving up. When you think about your ideal self, do you see someone who allow fear to dominate her actions or someone who have the courage to take risks and pick herself up even though she experienced disappointments, heartbreaks and sadness along the way?

Even though Hollywood would like to convince us otherwise but relationships are not a cure to our troubles. You said that you want to meet someone special and be happy but I believe that it is actually the other way around: You need to be happy before you are ready to meet someone special. If you meet someone special before you are ready, there is a good chance that the value you place on the relationship and the fear of loosing it will contaminate this experience. Instead of making things ok, it will be even more terrifying because your happiness is now depedant on his approval and this tends to bring out emotions like insecurity, jealousy and fear. Think about what you want in a partner: do you prefer someone who is confident and able to look after their own needs or someone who is dependant on you for their happiness and well being? If it is the former, be that person and you will take a lot of pressure out of being in a relationship with someone.