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Reply To: Frustration with girls and dating…

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#72000
resa
Participant

Hi Spidey,

Just saw this post (new here), but wanted to add something hopefully helpful….. I was that girl! Not that I am now and not proud of having been that girl then, but I went through a period when I was younger that I was not fully plugged in to how my actions truly affected others (men). I knew men were attracted to me and I played on that. Gave them just enough attention to get them hooked and then backed off as soon as they started wanting more. I had no serious interest in them (sorry) except to boost my own self-esteem. Some of them (I know this sounds harsh, but seriously, guys do this all the time) if I found attractive, I would start a relationship with knowing full well that I would never be serious about them, just to have fun. As soon as they would get too serious, I would break it off. Why I’m telling you this is because she is not into you. (sorry again). As others have said, she is using you for attention, to feed her self appreciation, and will continue to yank you around like a yo-yo as long as you let her. She doesn’t want to lose her admiration society. She is seriously NOT thinking about you or your feelings. If she really cared, she would not be doing this to you. Hopefully one day she will wake up and realize the actual real heartache she’s causing and be more considerate of people (men), but I’m guessing she’s young and not quite there yet. I eventually did wake up for real. I stopped dating for 5 years because I knew I was not ready to take anyone seriously and didn’t want to hurt anyone else. I spent those years doing deep deep introspection and heavy spiritual work. I wasn’t setting out to hurt people previously and I’m sure she isn’t either. She’s just not thinking beyond herself (as far as men go). Hope this wasn’t too harsh. What I really hope is that you untangle yourself and don’t let her waste another minute of your life. She may be a great person, but she would not be a great friend or girlfriend for you. Not now. Find someone who really shows they care. Consistently. Because that’s the person who does.