Poet, yeah, I know it can be hard to just switch off our feelings, even when the relationship isn’t healthy. I’m sure you know that the ONLY person whose behavior you are (or can be) responsible for, or in control of, is your own. Of course, that’s easy to say, much harder to put into practice. We tend to want others to act the way we want them to, and continue to do this even in the face of contrary evidence (they never acted that way, and we have no reason to believe they ever will). Expectations…sigh…can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

I agree that you probably wouldn’t benefit from speaking with her. Perhaps she feels that you are (too successfully) moving on and wants to re-establish the hook…not that she “wants” you, but she wants the attention, the feeling that you “can’t live without her.” The best thing you could do is to demonstrate that you have moved on and can live without her–not to try and get back with her, but to truly move on. Hey, I still love some people that I no longer see or hang out with, but I’m not hooked into their bu**sh*t anymore.