Well frankly speaking, i have kinda been in some of your states- the social, mildly obbsessive, meditation, substance abuse except drugs nd the anxiety. The truth is, right now i have stopped judging my life so much – it is what it is and i am what i am. Sometimes we need to let go of trying to be and let our stronger selves take over – which means, whatever you are doing – for once, drop it all, the music, the phone and really observe your sorroundings – ask yourself what you really need to stay in balance – you cant open up to open when deep down, you have allowed yourself to loathe yourself and are terrified if they will think something is wrong with you. Not really. They are mostly 98% of the time thinking about their life than you. I do believe in one thing though – the effect of mind-body connection – ask yourself if indeed your body is healthy – are you exercising, bathing regularly and eating better? Are you making the effort to leave the house once a day and enjoying some sunshine. Staying cooped up isnt good for anybody. I live alone, have less friends nearby and i decided instead of using labels like sad loser, just focus on being busy, go outside and make positive life changes like my health. People will come and go but you will have yourself throughout. Its easy to fall into that rut of hating oneself and not doing anything to perpetuate the self loathing. I did it for years and now, i am trying to let it go – its okay if you are not perfect, its okay if you sometimes feel no one likes you but dont believe all your thoughts. When i get real low, i either call a friend or read my old letters- the ones i wrote to myself when i was feeling strong and confident. Sometimes we all have bad days, feel terrible but life goes on. Apologies for the ramble, i guess i wasnt looking to give advice, just share my journey a bit. Hope the others have good inputs to add